Bobblehead Blow-Up Doll Barbie

Women may see each other as competition when stepping into a club, but after a few drinks, we are all best friends who share our most intimate secrets.

It was no different at Club Amnesia on the 16th floor of Detroit’s Motor City Casino. The view from that level showed the glow of Downtown Detroit. It was a magical glow that added to the ambience of the club and made everyone forgot about all the drama below us. In Club Amnesia, everyone of all races and ages were mixing and mingling, including me and my good friend, Jess. Jess and I were hanging around the bar crowd watching when we noticed something perculiar.

A live blow-up doll. She was a size negative 2, had on super tight black low-riding jeans and a tight black corset with her boobies all out. Her head was super big, with long straight blond hair and she had a tiny face. And her face had a expression that just screamed "IM DUMB! TEEHEEHEE!"

She wasn’t very pretty and she was trying very hard to be sexy and get attention. Well, she got our attention. Jess and I stood there laughing at her and discussing her implants.A little later (after a couple of drinks) Jess and I spot one of the few super cute guys in the club and he's with a friend who is also pretty easy on the eye. We want him. But then we notice he and his buddy are standing a couple of steps away from us and staring at Bobblehead Blow-up Doll Barbie.

Nnnnoooo!!!!

I did NOT want him hollering at Blow-up Barbie! So I cockblock.

I step over to cutie and say, "Yeah, those are fake."

"What?"

"Her boobs. They are fake. My friend and I already discussed it earlier."

Cutie guy and cutie friend burst out laughing hysterically and cutie says, "How did you know that we were talking about that?!"

"Who isn’t?!"

"I think it’s funny that you were discussing the same thing we were just discussing."So, cutie boy-- whose name is J-- thought the boobs were real. Cutie friend-- whose name is M-- said fake. I continued to school J on how we knew they were fake.

"J, look at her! She’s trying to get too much attention. She has them all out and she keeps dancing so her body I still and only her boobs are bouncing. She’s the fake kind of girl that craves the attention. She's humping her friend on the dance floor sending out the message 'Me and my girl friend are lesbians and you can be with us!' And she even just kissed the girl friend on the dance floor during that 'I kissed a girl and I liked it' song. Shes trying too hard. Trust me. They are fake."

J still is in denial so I tell him to go up to her and squeeze them. "I’m sure she'll let you. And remember, if they are hard, they are fake."

Still in denial, I decide desperate times call for desperate measures. I approach Barbie and put on my drunken white girl act (sorry and no offense to my Caucausian friends who are reading this).

"Excuse me! Hiii!" I say high-pitched smiling brightly. "I dont want to sound weird or anything, but I LOVE YOUR BOOBS!!!"

"THANKS!" Barbie says. "I JUST GOT THEM DONE!!!" She grins back and I'm using my acting skills to hold back my laughter.

"Really?! Iv'e been thinking about getting mine done!" A complete lie, but it gets the job done. She begins telling me the name of the doctor who did the surgery and the location of his office. Wow.

I tell her thanks and cooly report back to Jess, J and M who are cracking up and can't believe I asked her. I tell J, "I'm a journalist. I find out EVERYTHING."

Well, J and I get into conversation getting to know each other and then dance together. He asks for my phone number, we exchange, and he never talked to Blow-up Bobblehead Barbie.

Mission accomplished.